Omg. Pls don't say it as though you are the most wei da person on earth and always considering for others first. That's not true and I think you know it. In fact it was amusing when I saw it and the whole thing sounds as if I started all this crap. I am glad things are over between us as friends and I hope you recognize this fact.

Making an effort to find out is always the first step to new acceptance in life..
sometimes, we experience things that cannot be understood and there stands an opportunity of finding out why and the other choice of standing by and waiting for things to happen..
thats been something I keep telling myself for the past few days..
does that mean the person doesnt care alot if the person never plans to find out?
well, i just have to presume so.
been feeling quite down this few days when i am alone, feel as though I am not that important to do things that i am supposed to do but somehow i just dont feel like telling anyone about it..
waking up, starting up, going home, doing homework, is just back to the normal routine whereby i feel so fed up with life alongside with other people making me feel worse. disappointment, anguish and sadness somehow just fills me up this days..
I couldnt say i felt nothing but I still feel anger and bu ping over things that shouldnt be done as a friend. I guess I am the sensitive one because i bother alot about this kind of things.
Feel like making everything go back the way it was.
But I wont, because its unfair to other people and I wonder when will you ever for once try to gain something back that's lost. I guess I will probably wait for a long while because it was probably never cherished in the first place.
emoish post. and i am feeling emoish though.
forget it.
off to homework again.

long time since i blogged.. lols.. looks like i begin every post with the same phrase.. hahas.. its kind of stereotypical.. hahas.. being hooked on using the word " stereotypical".. hahas..
recently i went to watch ci ling on 31st dec on its first release day and seriously it was a severe letdown... I expected more from my zhou jie lun but seriously the movie turned out bad and the only two phrases I could manage after watching the show was " wa lau" lols.. and "it sucks".. hahas.. may sound kind of ironical, the highest earning celebrity acting in a show that totally sucks but i dare not lie to my readers because it seriously is terrible..
hahas...
I read the critics about it which graded the movie an average of a single star.. intially, i just shooed off any negative comments about the show BEFORE watching it.. but AFTER watching it.. i just felt cheated of my money. LOLS
well. what was bad about it in actual? the plot of the show was totally a let down and the stale plot of the magnificent and long lost treasure cove always threatens to collapse everytime some "mischievious" fellow or a greedy looking fei lou tries to bring home some gold to make fast cash... =.= and the minute i saw the cave threatening to collapse or was in the midst of falling like bread, crumbs all over the place...prior to that, i noticed that some scenes were kind of EXTRAordinary and made no sense because there was one particular scene whereby zhou jielun was fighting heroically with the so called " dont know what lao da" and one moment he was on the ground and the next he was on the horse of the lao da=.=.. my sis even noticed it. LOLS. which meant it was pretty obvious. LOLS
hmm.. putting aside the illogical scenes plus the stereotypical endings of treasurehunter shows.. We were even making a joke out of it saying that the western peeps like nicholas cage who might happen to chance upon the show would laugh till his teeth dropped out about the amateurish fighting graphics plus the so called complications of the typical treasure hunter show..
Next on, I felt the MOST pissed off when the relationship between zhou jielun and ling zhi ling in the show was so savagely brought to an end whereby there were only few phrases like " wo men shi bu tong shi jie de ren", well, for the non chinese it meant " we are people from different worlds" =.= I was like seriously -,-. ok and the show just ended with the heroic and dashing looking zhou jie lun riding off in a motorbike into the desolate desert with no apparent aims in his mind and only flashbacks of the lovely ling zhi ling talking to him. gosh. the relationship between them was a total let down and the preferential and more meaningful ending would have been zhou jie lun being less zhuai in his character and finally he understood that ling zhiling was the person for him =.= wouldnt that be a more meaningful ending instead of showing us scenes of the entirely attractive desert that I am sure everyone would definitely wanna chance upon.. =.=
I am sure one thing the critics reflected most accurately was that there was a guy having a super irritating role whereby he would laugh for nothing and make illogical and entirely de-appetizing statements that often spoilt the climax of the show instead of boosting the comical effect of the script.
well,, enough of the show critics,
I went to the kbox at jurong safra today.. apparently, it is real good with the latest touch screen devices and i was amazed by its ability to record the songs in which yoy sang and send it over to your phone for a some sort souvenir.. it's real cool and refreshing what technology can actually do.. hahas.. :) I had a fun time singing with my family though although i was a little irked out by the aircon that was chilling me to my bones..
hmm.. its been a long day!
11 days more to school. =,= gosh
and worse ghastly PE. running in the blazing hot sun
for 6 rounds :(
nighty

looking at my previous post reminds me of the same thing i did a long long time ago.. but i regretted the moment i posted it because it cause so much hurt that it was irreparable.. At the verge of anger, irritation? I sometimes whether is it wrong for others to say what they are truly thinking in that spurt of the moment.. But i guessed it was the only choice i had... Hahas.. But i guess because of that, i also caused irreversible impacts on others. The concern and care seems kind of foreign now.. well.. Wasnt it what i wanted

I guess its time I clarified things up.
I think I kind of mixed up stuff and thought it was a form of liking. I guess I am mistaken because right now i seriously dont feel any form of liking anymore. I just wanna things to remain the same they were during the time of orientation and dont really wanna to be plagued by such lame stuff. just like my blog's url. it means living anew. I guess you should try to stop harping on such stuff again and again. I finally felt it was time to tell you I mixed up. It wasnt liking we are just friends. always. and there's no point waiting because the real person I am waiting for is not you.
Making decisions whether or not it would turn out right was just a normal decision me as a friend would advise you to take as it was a better alternative than spending your time in the school for more years than others would expect to be. As a friend, I would feel sad for that loss of companionship and thats all. I am tired of ai mei stuff which not only gets on my nerves but also makes me feel childish why i am indulging in such lame stuff. I regret the wrong feeling I protrayed but that seems to be the end of the ai mei stuff and i suddenly realized how eager i am to get into the pharmacy faculty. I just sort of thought the whole thing would get crazy if you didnt realized that at this point of time already i dont feel the same and I just want to for the first time take full charge of my life and studies, achieving the grades i should have and not be contented with the self-satisfactory ones now.
Friends. studies. I guess i wont give up neither just like a person i know of did but I will rather the status remain quo.
I hope this settle things because maturity no matter how you say always remains a barrier between the communication we have. childish words may be forgiven. But childish, insensitive and stupid words and actions sometimes just cant become part of my life. We are still though the friends that we were a year ago.

lols-- suddeenly feel quite irritated as iremember how people keep assking me to shut up and its seriously so irritating because you can shut up for all i care but quit asking people to shut up just bbecause you are quieter..it seriously gets on my nerves

I think I dont because we are just friends nothing more.