looking at my previous post reminds me of the same thing i did a long long time ago.. but i regretted the moment i posted it because it cause so much hurt that it was irreparable.. At the verge of anger, irritation? I sometimes whether is it wrong for others to say what they are truly thinking in that spurt of the moment.. But i guessed it was the only choice i had... Hahas.. But i guess because of that, i also caused irreversible impacts on others. The concern and care seems kind of foreign now.. well.. Wasnt it what i wanted

I guess its time I clarified things up.
I think I kind of mixed up stuff and thought it was a form of liking. I guess I am mistaken because right now i seriously dont feel any form of liking anymore. I just wanna things to remain the same they were during the time of orientation and dont really wanna to be plagued by such lame stuff. just like my blog's url. it means living anew. I guess you should try to stop harping on such stuff again and again. I finally felt it was time to tell you I mixed up. It wasnt liking we are just friends. always. and there's no point waiting because the real person I am waiting for is not you.
Making decisions whether or not it would turn out right was just a normal decision me as a friend would advise you to take as it was a better alternative than spending your time in the school for more years than others would expect to be. As a friend, I would feel sad for that loss of companionship and thats all. I am tired of ai mei stuff which not only gets on my nerves but also makes me feel childish why i am indulging in such lame stuff. I regret the wrong feeling I protrayed but that seems to be the end of the ai mei stuff and i suddenly realized how eager i am to get into the pharmacy faculty. I just sort of thought the whole thing would get crazy if you didnt realized that at this point of time already i dont feel the same and I just want to for the first time take full charge of my life and studies, achieving the grades i should have and not be contented with the self-satisfactory ones now.
Friends. studies. I guess i wont give up neither just like a person i know of did but I will rather the status remain quo.
I hope this settle things because maturity no matter how you say always remains a barrier between the communication we have. childish words may be forgiven. But childish, insensitive and stupid words and actions sometimes just cant become part of my life. We are still though the friends that we were a year ago.

lols-- suddeenly feel quite irritated as iremember how people keep assking me to shut up and its seriously so irritating because you can shut up for all i care but quit asking people to shut up just bbecause you are quieter..it seriously gets on my nerves

I think I dont because we are just friends nothing more.

3rd dec outing

poof.. long time since i blogged now.. erm or rather it was a week ago?
hahas.. i realized my life is really darn boring as compared to a blog i read about india overseas trips and sydney trips.. hahas..
well one thing worth mentioning was the karaoke session we had on 3rd dec which nobody posted about it other than Christina and me now though.. hmm.. it was quite fun though.. we started off by eating at Breeks which was kind of hua suan to me because i found the chicken soup particularly nice as compared to the usual soups i had at pizza hut which was utterly disgusting especially the tomato soup which tasted as though they put the spaghetti sauce and diluted it... hahas.. yihao woonyeow, me and keith did have the "time of our lives" drinking the soup that particular day though. hmm.. afterwhich we went to sing at kbox though..hahas..:) having the special tapas meal which kind of disppointed yihao because he thought we were going to be served free flow drinks and a shark fin's bowl which was only available at the chinatown $10 club.. hahas..:) well the session was kind of similar to the one at my house previously with emelynn, woonyeow , me and yihao but this time there were probably more songs available and a better sound system obviously though the mic kept squeaking alot. hahas..
I uploaded like ALL the pictures in facebook le so you all might wanna see :) hahas...
well counting down to my holiday : 8 days more :) hahas..
I am going to watch New Moon tml and buy my holiday stuff tml though!
hahas.. the following day joyce and co will be coming over for a mahjong session which seriously has been rescheduled and rescheduled again and again due to unforseen circumstances.. hahas.. :) so i wouldnt really have time to blog this few days! hahas..:)

lols.. i wanted badly to continue my post on the H1 jab i took which i guessed no one would really wanna hear about it. LOLS. but i will just say because it was such a horrifying experience though. the doctor i went to kept concentrating on making jokes to create some form of humour within the room that i simply doubted whether he was even concentrating on the injection itself. Well, he was like putting that alcohol swab on me and i started to shiver and had a strong urge to burst out of the room crying. lols.. i hate injections though, shouldnt be hard to tell. hmm.. well, however, it didnt really turn out as expected and it really wasnt that pain after all. hahas..><
My hair is like getting more orangey and more mochaish at the same time which appears to be quite ok but at the same time it kind of irks me when i see the colour being not spreaded evenly, its either all thanks to my sis professional hair dyeing skills or due to the poor quality dye which i doubt it is the latter.
I was very tired and sleepy yesterday coupled along with a minor headache that seems quite common this few days now. I completed like all my holiday assignments like last week and i had to spend the whole of this week doing some form of revision for
J1 work which Wee kiat claimed that i was being siao by doing that. -.-
ok.
lols..
i guess the only reason why I dont wanna put too much emotions into it is because i guess it will just end out the same way again. Prior confidence in fairy tale sort of "happy ever after" sort of just shattered and I dont really wanna spend time thinking about it. Perhaps its better this way now where I receive more instead of contributing "selflessly" just like before and when i look back now, just looks stupid to me. hahas.. from actions, speech, its kind of obvious you havent reached that level of maturity level desired yet thats why until now i dont see myself plunging deeply into the hole. hahas.. I guess thats the reason. Maybe a year later, things will changed. People change and i guess feelings will eventually change if they are not reciprocated because at this point in time, we always tend to have a superficial form of emotions. Till now, I never believed in the childish thinking whereby one lets go easily just because the person doesnt like you in return. However much argument made, i still believe that form of liking is therefore not the real form of liking other people but just the form of baby love which absolutely disgusts me and I absolutely feel very strongly against it. I know liking people wouldnt be that way thats why I hate that kind of mentality.
poof.enough of emo stuff.
well. I guess i am going back to do my homework... hahas.. tata then. :)