hahas.. had my long awaited H1N1 jab today that was supposed to take place about 4 to 5days ago but it was rescheduled due to some prior plans. well. I did have it today after a long while of procrastination.. hahas.. probably onl;y about 30% of procrastination but 70% was fear of being jabbed because i honestly hate injections. hmm.. the doctor sort of freaked me out and i thought it was going to be excruciatingly painful as like before but honestly i didnt even noticed when he stuck the needle in my arm or even took it out. hahas.. it lasted for like around 3 seconds.. hmm.. the week's coming to an end though after such a long while.. anw i wanted to thank emelynn and woonyeow for like smsing me to give me some encouragement because i was feeling quite stressed out over homework and my studies.. honestly it meant quite a lot :)
thanks a lot guys.. jiayou to all of us in whatever we are busy and doing during this long holiday!

Fate or Fated?

this few days keep on meeting weili, my old classmate from 4T1.. sounds so foreign now though 4T1.. hahas.. i realized time really does make people forget stuff or feel strange when meeting someone or even just saying something. Given the single analogy whereby a person who doesnt practise piano often will soon find piano and those white and black keys to be very foreign,strange and unfamiliar. I guess its easier to understand with the analogy.. hahas...
well, weili was telling me we have fate. lols.. i was like =.='. hahas.. fate. what a weird word. I used to believe that everything was fated. Everything that happened to me was fated and was for a reason. hahas.. i stopped being so childish. I realized it wasnt. I guess fate's really in your hands. Nobody can ever predict what's your next move. What's the next thing that would happen. so i stoppedd believing the fate bullshit thing.
recently feeling quite stressed. desperately wanna a break. desperately wanna just fly off for my holiday now and my headaches are making me seriously very frustrated how weak i can get. Sometimes, i just want a shoulder to lean on, a pair of ears to listen to me and a pair of reassuring eyes to tell me that everything's gonna be fine. Everything will just come and go. However stress i may feel, eventually it will go away. I hope it is true.
been long since i went out to have fun. hahas.. i wake up everyday to homework. I just think school's at least not that depressing. i have that share of stress but that at the same time i feel so much more at ease with friends to talk to, to joke with and at least i dont have to keep burying myself in a pile of homework, worried I might never be doing enough to upgrade myself from the recent promos.
I wanna go to a beach. wanna talk to people. wanna try to live for once my own life.

having a lsight headache now... i guess its the sunny and yet windy weather that sort of caused it.. or the long hours of studying? lols.. not very sure.. dont really care.. hmm.. completed about 80% of holiday assignments some of which that really cannot be done at the moment because the holiday tutorials are not released yet.. hahas.. just realized the way i am spending the holiday is probably like fifty times different than the kind of holiday everyone else is spending.. hahas.. woonyeow's busy with astar and sticking in the lab. Joyce's probably stuck with band.. hmm and the rest not very sure.. hahas.. but i was expecting to see millions of people online though during this holiday season, but to my horror, no one was online to talk to.. or rather there were but not the chatable kinds.. hahas..
i guess everyone's probably very occuppied now with loads of stuff to do.. holiday assignments.. busy going out to have fun or even just busy sleeping at home.. Time's no longer a luxury for me but something i need very badly because i have to chiong all the year's revision within this few weeks because when the term starts, there are going to be some subjects with tests. Plus practising piano is such a boredom and i really cant help it but feel so sianded by it..
haiis.. moodswings are getting worse still.. not sure caused by what in particular? or rather there are times i dont even feel like talking at all. that is seriously not an exaggeration but just a true reflection of how i feel. hmm.. taking a break now. do you call that a break? urgh. guess not. because the break's about 10 min long. sian sian sian. i wake up everyday and all i wake up to is a pile of revision plus holiday assignments which are starting to get on my nerves NOW.I guess most of the time my blog's just full of crappy and emoed stuff based on the frequency of my moodswings this days. .
at the same time, i think 3rd dec had better come fast because i am soon going to be very tired of this weary schedule where i wake up at 8 in the morning chionging homework all the day long and the only time i look forward to is at lunch because i get to watch shows during that time..
hmm..
i watched hai pai tian xin though the first two episodes... they are actually quite entertaining and funny and i was very amused by the similarities between the plot and things that happen in daily life, my daily life and school.. although i think the abusiveness and violence of the female character is kind of exaggerated.. hahas.. but overall, YOU should watch the show because its damn entertaining and you will see what a striking resemblance this is to our school life. or rather my school life.. hahas..
guess thats enough for the day.
should get going to finish maclaurin's series...
get back asasp :)bb

Didnt really do much today that is probably worth mentioning on this blog here... lols.. i am sure nobody will be interested to know how much homework i completed today right.. lols..>< hahas..
felt quite tired today because i woke up at around 8 plus to do my holiday assignments.. somehow feel quite happy because i seem to be ticking them off quite quickly.. hahas..><
quite excited about the outing on 3rd Dec. Well in case you peeps still dont know.. hahas.. we are meeting at 11.45pm at Jurong East Interchange. DOUBLE CONFIRM. hahas..><
i love confirming stuff.. lols.. i was busy asking my sis though about what we would eat for lunch on 3rd. Lols.. she gave me that sian diao face and said she didnt like planning such stuffs before hand.. hahas..>< I love planning stuffs early.. lols.. i still remember everyone being very irritated with me because i keep confirming and double confirming and keep confirming where we were going to eat lunch and how many people were going for lunch. LOLs..>< feels nice to be able to decide where we are going to eat for once.. hmm... i started counting down the days to my Hokkaido trip though.. so excited about the camwhoring that we can do there :) hahas.. plus the nice sceneries and the lovely snow. I love cold weather:). ahas.. most importantly i love snow. Hhahas.. looking at my calender now, there is about approximately 3 weeks to the trip? hahas..>< sounds kind of far. but yah in the meanwhile i am still stuck with holiday assignments..
lols.. holiday's kind of lonely.. there isnt really anyone to talk to though... woonyeow's busy with Astar attachment, Joyce has band i think... no more mahjong sessions, there wasnt one to begin with, Yeerui's busy playing some corner and admiring herself.. lols.. yihao=.= not to mention probably crawling around looking for cheap stuff plus very hua suan student meals. Dawei probably busy with CO. Emelynn probably stuck with Harmoc stuff.. lols.. busy watching yulebaifenbai.. Argh. everyone seems so occupied and i cant believe my handphone has seriously NO sms, NO call except from the council peeps =.=. NO SMS????!!
i still remember being very busy with reply smses and stuff during the normal school days because woonyeow was so free and he loved smsing me crap. Not to mention, i would get occassional messages regarding interact. Maybe Joyce or emelynn at times.. HAIISS...><
cant wait for 3rd dec though.
Off to read my xiao shuo :)
tata :)

Feeling tired

hahas.. finally had the time to post about stuff i wanted to post.. poof we shall start off with the most delightful news first whereby Michelle is joining us on 3rd Dec outing too!!! hahas... ><>< decided to just post it online..
Everyone will probably be wondering what on earth am i doing.. posting at 10.10pm which is about ten minutes past my bedtime and i am still furiously typing my post.. lols..>< hmm... not sure how to explain but i am seriously too overwhelmed by the good news and i cant possibly just sleep after hearing such stuff.. LOLS.. everyone should be thinking i am mad.. hahas.. i think i am though. LOLS
for the past few days didnt really do anything or feel much about stuffs but maybe on Friday I felt a little sian diao, didnt really know why but probably because it was probably the last day of school.. I mean sort of officially.. hahas..>< so yah.. Suddenly all those moments of laughter. all those times we gathered around and started laughing hysterically over the lamest things on earth, busy gossiping about people we shouldnt be gossiping over, busy discussing crazy stuffs like who was the prettiest or most irritating person in class and so on so on.. well, to be honest, I actually didnt really liked the idea of going to AJ at first, totally at all.. But after a year, i guess the things didnt really go the way i thought it would be too :).. fortunately it was in a positive way.. Other than handling the immense amounts of assignments plus new topics in JC which i sort of expected, most importantly i met people in my life that I wouldnt really wanna miss out on meeting.. Gossip partners, lunch partners, really nice people and most importantly a very good friend, well all in all, I didnt really regret the year after it passed... :) I guess the best i can do to appreciate the year that has passed by so quickly would be to write about the main activities, to reminisce about the past and appreciate the things that seemed to have come by so easily but actually they are really presents, incidental ones.. :)

hmm.. starting of the year, i was still afraid, regretful, sian diao over the fact that i was forced into AJ. Everything seemed bad to me. the facilities, the people and i even went to the point of trying not to mix with others because i seriously just detested the fact that i could have been in some other JC ten times better without having to appeal and yet i was forced somewhere i didnt like... Started off when i sat next to a guy called Woonyeow.. I was damn shocked when i saw his name on my class list because according to joyce, he was supposed to be from BP and i was sort of "amazed" at my luck of being his classmtate, whether or not it would turn out bad or terrible. LOLS. I seriously didnt know.. So off i was to start off the year with Woonyeow whom i didnt really know but i was glad to cling on to because i serioiusly didnt know anyone else.. hahas..

Orientation for me wasnt that fun.. so lets just skip that part..
lessons started and i realized how difficult JC life was actually because you had to juggle a squeezy two year syllabus with like loads of CCA duties. Meetings, meetings, tutorials, lectures, meetings, SL and tutorials again... everything seems a repeated cycle. To add on and make things worse, tests, exams promos.. hahas...
I think the best part of JC life was like after Promos, PW was a TERROR. and chinese was very irritating because we had to do like loads of assignments and perform loads of mock tests.. hahas... After promos, we seriously enjoyed alot because by then we already knew many of our classmates, their habits, their character and I found many many other people who loved gossiping like me.. gossiping's good:)
hahas... we spent a lot of time eating lunch together.. Sumo House according to Yihao the cheapo kia lols.. has the cheapest Jap food plus FREE flow DRINKS and many other free dishes.. hahas..><><
Last thursday, i think we went to Cartel's to eat with the same group of peeps, Serene , Bryan, Keith, Woonyeow, Youyue, Yihao the cheapo kia, Dawei, kenneth, victor.. lols.. sorry if i missed out any names but yah.. hahas..><><>< hahas.. if it was the other way round, i doubt i would be THAT tolerating but sometimes woonyeow is irritating too.. BUT. lols.. its ok. I am irritating too :) HAHAHAS....

actually after typing so much, i am seriously damn tired.. lols..><
guess i will stop here..
i will update ALL of you about my life :) when i have the time :) hahas..
tata
goodnight everyone!
everyone reading this should ssay" goodnight" and repeat after me.. hahas..>hahas..
see you all soon! bb

Long overdue post though..
hahas.. i wanted to post this like long ago, either i couldnt find time to post or i was too tired to even switch on the comp everytime i get back from school..
hahas.. had an official interact meeting today.,. well some sort with interact teachers since the term of my office.. suddenly it felt nice to have something to do. LOLs. not that i am saying I am very free but I was in fact quite delighted for the fact that i am working for my post.
hmm.. recently, my moodswings are getting on my nerves and i am seriously very sorry towards anyone that i have shown them too.. Because for some odd reason, i feel angry and irritated like most of the time only when i start joking around then will i feel less irritated.. hmm..
I am sorry though.. it wasnt really personal or what.. hahas..
guess sorries dont help here since I have always been known for my irritation. hahaas...><
well well. I think I should get a rein of the moodswings like asap.
Today.
Nothing really happened today except that this was probably the first time in quite a long period of time since i didnt go to school and go back home with woonyeow because he had chemistry and was off to do some STUDIO recording.. according to him=.= erhem. shall not elaborate..
hahas..
it was quite boring though going alone to school and back because usually i will be chattering all the way and back assuming I was in a good mood.. hahas.. well for a change, gin accompanied me home and i felt it was quite refreshing to stop gossiping and talk about something more constructive but all in all i still prefer gossips more:) hahas.. they make me feel happier.. MUhahahahas..><
not sure why but gossips seems to have a very positive impact on me.. hahas.. talking about gossips just make me feel so happy and less irritated with myself and others.. hahahs..><
hmm.. should i blame the moodswings because i didnt take the evening primrose pills? lols..><
hope that should have been the reason for those uncontrollable outbursts of anger.. hahas..
maybe i should just try not flaring up and speaking loudly for a day to give it a start and start acting like a si wen gia.. hahas
gtg..bb

i guess all defences cracked down yesterday..
I thought as long as i tried to avoid it, i wouldnt ever see you again in my entire life.
However, i was wrong. I wonder whether it was just a big joke played on me. But i realized it really wasnt..

When i first saw you from the top, i was thinking whether it might be you since the person looked almost exactly like you. I think you saw me too because you were looking at me with the look of recognition too.. For a moment, the defences i built from that period of time seemed to break down and shatter in just that moment..
Probably, it isnt that impactful on you because you seem to easily forget one and move on to another.. I am not like you.
I felt a little scared though..
I knew i didnt want to be like that or feel that way.. I thought time would eventually remove this painful scar.. Apparently time's not that effective after all..
it may sound like an exaggeration after all because what impact could there be from just meeting someone..
I looked away though.. I didnt want to keep looking at your expressionless face.
I knew it wasnt joy you felt upon seeing me, but you looked at me as though i was a stranger whom you knew many years ago. Sounds ironical. But i guess this is the most vivid description.
Just when i thought i could finally get a release from all this, I was wrong.

I thought for a while and realized perhaps I havent really forgotten about the past..

Its a sunny day today though.. hahas.. i initially had piano though but my piano teacher fell ill and that leaves me with loads of free time though... but of course we wouldnt be that sadistic.. so get well soon though!! hahas...><
Recently, we sort of have loads of activites within my circle of friends for bonding..
ahas.. gunbound.. tennis even though it was quite short.. hmm.. class lunches? hahas.. not really the entire class but almost half of the class at Sumo House.. well it was almost the first time i have ever been to lunch in such a large group of 13 before.. it was quite fun though..
and it was also the first time i played gunbound in such a large group before.. hahas..><
didnt know it would be that fun.. hahas.. but stuff can happen in gunbound at times too.. LOLS..
well well, Op's kind of coming soon though.. its on Tuesday and I seriously think the faster it is over the better because i am very very tired of rehearsals over and over again.. and i am sure everyone shares the same sentiments too.. hahas..
so fast one year's passed.. everything seems to be moving fast and a lot of memories i wonder whether i've left them behind as time passes by... but i hope i did.. since i dont think holding on to it would matter a lot...
oh god.. somebody was staring at me as if he wanted to kill me yesterday... gives me the creeps though to wonder what he was actually thinking while carrying out that stare.. argh..
hmm..
suddenly realized we have only a few days left to start of holidays. on one hand, i feel quite relieved and excited that my holiday's coming soon while on the other hand sad to leave my friends.. hahas..><
on the last note..
bb:)

hmm.. had a nice time playing gunbound yesterday though since its the first time we are playing in such a big group.. hahas..><>< I guess everyone of this age is just like that, things that come out of the mouth dont often carry a real meaning to it. After declaring an undying love, lols. how ridiculous will it get, a few days or weeks later, it just happens to die down ironically.. hahas... hmm.. i guess its time to wake up on your ideas and finally realized the undying love you proclaimed was probably just a 17 year old sudden fleeting crush that was mistaken as love... At this age, i guess we will probably never be able to truly appreciate the meaning of the greatest feeling on earth..
hahahs..>,<
on a brighter side, i really enjoyed the lunches because we had the time of our lives gossiping about some lame stuff and lame people though.. hahas...
Hope the happy days still persist though!! :)

just went for lunch with about 13 people at Sumo house near Ang Mo kio Hub.. its like the second time i ate there and i seriously think the sushi don is getting more and more addictive well on second thought i should try something new when i go there the next time.. next stop went to coffee bean to chill out with emelynn, rachelle, serene and valerie plus bryan and keith.. lol..had the time of my life talking and talking though.. lols..><
but it wasnt that guo ying because i couldnt really stay for long.. hahas..><

well. what can i say?
I was just disappointed at your once again irresponsible behaviour.
sort of immune to it now.